Monday, May 11, 2009

Mile High Minute :: ECB 2009, Week 5


In what is sure to be one of the closest finishes of the entire season, the Mile High Mackerel extended their winning streak to four weeks in a row with a 2/3-point victory over league-leading Speedway.

In the last inning of the week, Mack closer and world-class douchebag Jonathan Papelbon tallied 14 last-second points in nail-biting fashion, having what would have been the series-clinching point on third base with no one out. He promptly struck out Carlos Pena, B.J. Upton, and Carl Crawford and danced his way to his home in Gayville.

“ZOMG! IM 2 AWESOME!” Papelbon said to the media, wearing his trademark dumbass goggles, bike shorts, and t-shirt reading “ZOMG! IM 2 AWESOME!"

“I didn’t even watch the game,” said GM Jon Bielecki, “I was playing Elder Scrolls IV on XBox, assuming that I had no chance of winning the series. You can imagine my surprise when I came in on Monday and checked the scores. It was like a 6-out-of-10 on the surprise scale.”

Mile High takes on LA of Anaheim this week, who put up an impressive (albeit not enough to win) 487 points versus Chicago in Week 5.

“I feel pretty confident we can keep rolling,” Bielecki said, “We went with a bit of a strange lineup this week, sitting McLouth, J-Roll, and Paps, but we’re still tinkering around from week to week.” Bielecki also noted that Armando Galarraga and A.J. Burnett were essentially competing for a roster spot this week. If Burnett is cut, he has vowed to be picked up by Marshall Street and to go on to have a 700 point season.

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