Tossin' Softballs K-5

Not much going on in KFS-world as of late:

• The ABA2K season has wrapped up and awards aren't due to be handed out until the Commissioner stops weeping himself to sleep.
• NECBL2 (damn we need a new name) hasn't quite hit full stride yet and seems to be inching perilously close to a season where every team finishes .500
• Nobody can start planning their ALF draft strategy until next week, when all the Trojans and Hurricanes have been assigned to their respective awful pro teams.

So in the interim, here is the long-ago promised gold mine of youth sports information I happened upon during one of recent stays at the old Court St homestead. Strap yourselves in for this trip down awkward memory lane...

On Sunday 6/5/88, the eyes of the Elm City - nay, all of greater Cheshire County - were focused on the hallowed and dew-soaked grounds of Alumni Field. There, girls and boys from Alstead to Zwanzey battled each other for bragging rights and the coveted Blue Ribbon of Participation and Fun. Here then, are selected results from the 1988 Junior Olympics:

THIRD GRADE
Boys Long Jump
1. Nick Goulas, Chesterfield
2. Jason Chamberlain, Symonds
3. Mike Eyman, Fuller
(NOTES: Goulas!...Not a good day for Symonds, as you'll see...same for Wheelock - nice job East and West Keene!...Jason Chamberlain was already 6'8" 125 lb)
(PREDICTION: Watts will crack up at the name Mike Eyman)

GIRLS LONG JUMP
1. Emily Dobson, Franklin
2. Celena Chickering, Chesterfield
3. Stefanie Rosinski, Daniels
(NOTES: Dobson prevents the Chesterfield sweep, but would later become sister-in-law to the boys winner. How fucking weird...Celena got so pissed, she kicked everyone's ass for the next 10 years...StefRo just took a normal step and finished 3rd)
(PREDICTION: Celena Chickering will not marry Jason Chamberlain)

BOYS 40-YARD DASH
1. Nick Benjamin, Chesterfield
2. Craig Blanchard, Franklin
3. Marco Salce, Fuller
(NOTES: What is in the Connecticut River water in Chesterfield? Must be all the amphetamines Westmoreland dumps in it...Blanchard still holds the record for fasted time while baked...Marco went on to way easier athletic endeavors, such as catching and wrestling)
(PREDICTION: None of these guys can run 40 yards anymore)

GIRLS 40-YARD DASH
1. Julie Nowak, Daniels
2. Nicole Castor, Wheelock
3. Karilyn Saunders, Franklin
(NOTES: Quite the diverse group here, huh?)
(PREDICTION: Karilyn keeps her bronze medal right next to her Dartmouth diploma)

BOYS 440-YD RUN
1. Mike Cody, Chesterfield
2. Dan Moylin (sic), Symonds
3. Tom Askey, Fuller
(NOTES: Who are 2 people who have never been in my kitchen, and one who has been in my kitchen with the word "Tombo" shaved in the back of his head. Good times. Did they spell Danny Sprinter's name wrong or was this some prototype version of the Moylan we grew to know later?)
(PREDICTION: Tom Askey will never catch for Rick Ankiel)

GIRLS 440-YD RUN
1. Erin Aeschilman, St Joe's
2. Kim Fuller, Chesterfield
3. Chloe Wampler, Fuller
(NOTES: That's all 3rd place finishes for the mighty Fuller School Panthers so far. Is there anyone out there who can close the deal?...Hell, a Fuller took 2nd, and she's from Chesterfield...Whatever happened to that Aeschilman girl, anyway?)
(PREDICTION: So many Chloe Wampler running jokes, so little blog)

GIRLS SOFTBALL TOSS
1. Mary Tolman, St Joe's
2. Beth Hammond, Fuller
3. Julie Johnson, Wheelock
(NOTES: Zzzzzzzzzz)
(PREDICTION: Beth Hammond's granddaughter will medal in this event next year)

AND THE MAIN EVENT:
BOYS SOFTBALL TOSS
1. Ryan Friedman, Fuller
2. Jason Thomas, Chesterfield
3. Rejean Guerriero, St Joe's
(NOTES: TAKE THAT, STINKTOWN!..What a murderers row of accuracy experts. Right?)
(PREDICTION: I will never touch a softball again)

By the way, the FOURTH GRADE boys softball throw podium?
1.Matt Lamoreaux
2.Matt Clark
3.Josh Carbone

Eek.

That's enough for now. Sorry I don't have the Class of '98 covered here for the tall kid sector of KFS. Coming soon...Stats from the 1988 and 1989 Junior League Orioles, and the complete schedule for Rec League Basketball.

Street Clothes

Quiz time, kids. Team X is coming off two straight runner-up finishes in ABA2K. Team X got burned last year by not having Shaquille O'Neal around playoff time. Team X decides to trade Shaq. So I ask you, what happens next?

A) Team X finally wins their championship, thanks to great health and the dominating performance of Andres Nocioni
B) Team X finishes 5th as Shaq leads new squad to 105-0 record
C) Team X's other 2 remaining keepers get hurt, they finish 2nd again, and Aubrey Huff trips on a frigging bullpen mound and lands on the DL.

Make some room on the bench, Chris. Here comes King James (and Al Harrington). And make some room on the Yahoo!Mantle! while you're at it. Daddy's bringing home another silver trophy.

If LeBron comes back, please disregard this post. Except for the Aubrey Huff part. He's a loser.

12 Things About Week 1

1. Losing your first week builds character... or so the Devil Jays would have us believe.
2. Adler's wins need to get a lot more impressive if he's going to live up to the hype created by Frieds. He won 7-2, but would have lost to anyone else. Including ME!
3. Ffej has stopped caring about KFS entirely.
4. I still hate the Yankees... but now for either losing or winning by 8+ runs.
5. Bartolo Colon and Livan Hernandez are still just big fat Jugs machines.
6. Maybe the Braves WON'T win the NL East this year.
7. Maybe the Rockies WILL win the NL West.
8. Speaking of the NL West, I hope none of us ever have to have a nerve removed from any of our elbows.
9. Adler thought Chris Shelton was black.
10. I still think Khalil Greene is black.
11. How weird does the Red Sox lineup look this year? J.T. Snow?
12. It turns out Matt Murton ISN'T this year's Clint Barmes. The rest of the league is safe from Woosta... for now.

Today?

Not so beautiful. At least its not snowing at Miller Park - home of Chris Capuano and Derrick Turnbow. In Speedway today, Milwaukee is truly "the good land"