Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Don't Sweep

Would you believe that no Boston sports team has won a championship in nearly 8 months? Since the end of last October, the professional sports entries from Beantown are an embarrassing 0-3 in title opportunities. Of course, this includes the heartbreaking runner-up finish out of the boys from Gillette. Fuck you, Houston Dynamo.

But beyond all that, the last time New Englanders got to watch their team celebrate on home courtfieldicepitch? A little year I like to call "1986". As mind-numbingly awesome as 10/27/04 was, imagine the comebacker to Foulke happening at Fenway. So it is with that bit of selfishness that I say to the men in green:

Slow your roll. Yep, I'm hoping the Boston Celtics lose 2 of the next 3 games to the Los Angeles Lakers. This is today's Boston sports fan. Wha' happen?!?

The tricky part, of course, is figuring out which game I'd like to see them win to minimize any heart palpitations that may occur. A Game 3 win would virtually ensure banner seventeen, but I fear the Lakers would then fold their tents like Dan Aykroyd's family in The Great Outdoors. Waiting until Game 5 would give them momentum heading home, but I (meaning we (meaning the team I obviously belong to)) wouldn't want a 2-2 series.

So Game 4 it is. Take the loss tonight. Maybe waste a couple hard fouls on the Kobester and leave him bruised for Thursday. Hell, it shouldn't be too hard. I'm pretty sure Jerry West will be referring tonight's contest. Yeah, I'm totally comfortable with this plan. There will be no Celtic rooting in the Friedman household tonight. You hear me, kid?

In other news, it's been far too long since we've gotten together. The summer days have me nostalgic for post-long day at the west keene shopping center-hijinks. This is clearly mostly my fault, and I do apologize. But if you'd all like to dadnap me for a week of Wiffle, video games, ice cream sandwiches, Beastie Boys, and NAN MORE DIAPERS? T'would be appreciated.

Relatedly, Cameron is almost positively right-handed. There goes my retirement palace.