One of the few problems with living at altitude is that hangovers are long and painful. Such was the case with the mighty-mighty-Mackerel who dropped perhaps the biggest, smelliest hangover dump in the history of the ECB in Week 1.
Having picked up AL Cy Young winner Cliff Lee in the draft, pitching for the Mackerel should have been the story. It was. Lee and Tim Lincecum combined for less than 18 total points over 4 starts. Aaron Cook contributed 3.7 points on the week, bringing Mackerel two-start pitchers to a total of 21.3 points over 6 total starts.
“I feel like I’m more mature now,” said GM Jon Bielecki when asked if he would be breaking anything in response to his team’s performance, “Besides, XBox controllers are like 40 bucks. That’s a little steep.”
“I think Tim and Cliff will be okay,” Bielecki added, “We’ll wait until Cliff’s next two start week to put him in the lineup though.”
Time will tell what the future holds for Aaron Cook. “I have a red goatee,” he said in a post-game press conference, “Also, why the hell did the Rockies trade Matt Holliday?”
Offensively, the Mack were in the middle of the pack across the league. They weren’t helped by the fact that new toy Mark Teixeira sat out most of the weekend with wrist tendonitis. “I was pretty disappointed with my managers,” Bielecki said, “All we needed was a couple of hits to get a win and Tex, Damon, Helton, and Johnson all sat the bench on Sunday.” Helton has since packed his bags and slumping keeper Jimmy Rollins is not playing this week in favor of Robinson Canó.
Mile High plays Marshall Street this week, who put up 400 points in Week 1. “We’ll be back, probably,” Bielecki said, “There are a lot of new faces around here, so we need to figure out how to make this thing work.”