And the Rocket's Red Where?

Dear Peter Gammons,

While I appreciate your notes from yesterday on Craig Hansen...

"He did not allow a run this spring with the Red Sox, but when he gets sent out, the overall feeling is that he needs to either start or pitch in three-inning stints to develop both his fastballs, slider and changeup. In Hansen's case, saves for Pawtucket or Portland are irrelevant. He needs to prepare to pitch in the major leagues, and closing in his case isn't development."

...and the shout-out to my current place of residence...

"If Armando Benitez does break down, don't be surprised if the Giants turn to Merkin Valdez -- who's had a great spring -- and Brian Wilson, who shot through the organization last season with his power stuff. Brian Sabean has to like Wilson, as the fireballer is a fellow New Hampshire native out of Londonderry."

...I could most likely go on with my day without reading this...

"All the Team USA pitchers -- and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann -- were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren't ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. "He doesn't want to get comfortable on the mound," says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix."

If that the kind of substance abuse we're going to be hearing about in this post-steroid era, I'd rather go back to the Bash Brothers. Anyway, if anyone else knows of a pitcher who starts rubbing cream on his ballsack, please let Adler know so he can add him to the stable.