Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Adler the Recapler - Week 6

This matchup was only the second-most important thing that Baltimore owner Jon Grashow did last week as he tossed aside years of tradition and grabbed a Yankee. Not just any Yankee but Mariano Rivera. The league was shocked, not because he’s a Yankee, but because he’s been so bad. In the actual matchup, Bob’s LA of Anaheim or California of the USA Squatters put up their 2nd-highest score of the year with 396.7 points. With a league-high for the week of 292 hitting points, Bob was paced by, well, everyone except Mike Piazza, who didn’t play. All other hitters put up double digits. On the mound, Bob was led by Brandon Webb and John Lackey, who continue to be two of the best, albeit underrated, pitchers in ECB.

In Baltimore, Grashow received the worst performance from his team this year with only 330 points (nearly 50 below his previous low score). Although all of his pitchers broke into double digits, there wer few stellar games, as Randy Wolf was the only player to crack 30 points. At the plate, Adam Dunn shone with a co-hitter of the week showing of 37, but there was little else to reward, as only 3 other batters broke 20.

At the beginning of the season, Jeff seemed to fulfill his date with destiny by drafting Mariano Rivera. Well, it was a short date. The kind where something awkward happens and the date ends early, like a half hour in. "I'm sorry, it's just not working out. It's not you, it's me." That's the way Stanley broke the news to Rivera in the locker room. The good news is that Rivera went out with a win, although he didn't contribute much. Stanley's hitters were led by Mike Lowell's surprising 36 points. The pitching was paced by 3 of Stanley's 800 closers, in particular Billy Wagner, Trevor Hoffman, and Takashi Saito.

A week after knocking off ECB powerhouse Woosta, Menace GM Jon Watterson was disappointed with his team's performance, coming up short next to Stanley, (ED NOTE: Ha!) although Watterson had to be pleased with his team's improving offense. He pointed to Gary Matthews Jr, Carlos Lee, and Derek Jeter who all posted 30+ points. Despite the solid hitting, however, Marshall St. was betrayed by C.C. Sabathia, Chris Ray, and Aki Otsuka who all posted subpar performances. When reached for comment, Jon refused to make excuses, except for one: "My team was clearly looking ahead to our rematch with the Pimps."

SPEEDWAY (6) def. WOOSTA (3)
In the battle of former GSC teammates, Ryan T. Friedman's Wipes earned a 6-3 victory. With a strong pitching performance of 185.7 points for the week, Speedway were led by Fausto Carmona and Ted Lilly both posting over 40. With the bats, everyone but Josh "The Natural" Hamilton posted double figures. Hamilton was promptly cut and now resides in Baltimore. Friedman was quoted while signing the release papers as saying, "Cue starwipe...and you're out."

In an uncharacteristic down year (ED NOTE: So far. Don't hurt us.), Rich's Pimps were handed their 3rd-straight loss since stomping Chicago with their league high of 555 points 4 weeks ago. Woosta was led by David Ortiz and Justin Morneau both posting 35 points, and only Ian Kinsler failing to reach double digits. On the mound, the unlikely triumverate of Ian Snell, Chris Young, and Oliver Perez led the way, combining for 102.7 points. When reached for comment on the beaches of Hawaii, Gallup was brief, simply stating, "Go ahead. Write us off. See what happens."

CHICAGO (8) def. MILE HIGH (1)
In the smackdown of the week, Chicago beat down Mile High to the tune of an 8-1 result. Aided by the second-highest hitting performance of the week, Adler's Army posted a season-high 465.5 points. With co-hitter of the week Lance Berkman's 37 points and Gary Sheffield and Russell Martin posting strong weeks, the Army put up 276 at the plate alone. The pitchers received at least 25 points from everyone except Doug Davis for a league high 189.5.

Mile HIgh's Jon Bielecki stated that his team was betrayed by his hitting. And he was right, as the lineup only managed a team-low for '07 with 181 points, although Ken Griffey Jr was the final co-hitter of the week. Particularly putrid were the efforts of Pudge Rodriguez, Derrek Lee, and - ah screw it - the entire infield. On the pitching side, the Macks were saved by Brad Penny's pitcher of the week showing with 58.67 points. JB has failed to write his team off after a second straight losing week (ED NOTE: Probably because he's still in first place), and walked out of the locker room offering the following encouragement: "A little less suck out there next week fellas."

No comments: